Goodbye
by lessthenperfect
Summary: Gabriella begins the healing process of having Troy walk out of her life


Goodbye

Gabriella Montez had been sure that everything was to good to be true. She had made amazing friends in such a short period after moving to New Mexico, one of those friends being Troy Bolton. Gabriella had had no doubt in her mind that Troy was one of the best things that had happened to her in a very long time. Around Troy Gabriella had felt herself, she had felt confident, she had felt respected and most of all she had felt loved. Now of course she hadn't felt loved in the 'in love' sort of way, she hadn't known Troy long enough for that to be the case, but she never the less had felt loved. The only catch in all of this was _had_. She and Troy had been best friends; they had trusted each other with everything. When they spent time together (which was quite frequently) it was always so hard to say goodbye even though they would see each other again the next day. She had felt safe and sure she had found a guy worthy of her time. She apparently made a mistake again.

Now she was standing in her room looking out the window with her open journal on her lap. She knew what had gone wrong, she knew why it ended in one sense but in the other she was just as confused as ever. She knew a lot of the pain she felt was because she had been the forgotten one on their school trip. Troy found prettier girls then her while they were there; girls that didn't require commitment or loyalty, girls that didn't value themselves. Gabriella knew that this shouldn't bother her, after all Troy wasn't her boyfriend right? When they had agreed not to date a couple months previous though, they had decided to wait for each other. Even on the trip Troy had promised her that he loved her and that he wasn't going to find another girl while they were there. But he did, and now Gabriella was confused and alone.

She hasn't cried about it since she's been home. While she was there she cried on Taylor's shoulder a lot, but now the tears just wouldn't come. She wished they would, she needed to cry. Things have only gotten worse since she's been home. Troy has talked to her maybe five times. That is the hardest thing for her. He is so hot and cold all the time. Gabriella doesn't seek Troy out so when they do talk Troy has to come to her which always gives Gabriella false hope, he will do the sweetest things one day and the next day ignore her completely. She sometimes wished he just wouldn't talk to her at all.

Gabriella sat down on her windowsill and began to write in the journal that she had been staring at for the past hour; she had tried to write in it so many times but failed at being able to put her feelings into words. She decided she was ready, ready to write, ready to come to terms with her pain and ready to say goodbye.

_Troy,_

_It is time to say goodbye to you now. It is time for you to know that you have been a jerk. You say that nothing has changed but I beg to differ, what happened to all the fun times we used to have. What happened to us not being able to go more than a day without talking, what happened to you being the one person I could trust to be honest with me no matter what? When did I become so unimportant to you? When did things change? What changed in you? Part of me wants to know the answers to these questions, and part of me wants to just label you as a jerk forever. One day I hope we will be able to fix the damage that has been done and one day I hope I will be able to trust and rely on you as much as I used to but for now it is goodbye. I know that this is not all your fault I know I take some blame for our emotional connection, but it is your fault for not trying to fix it and it is your fault for not facing the pain that I can only assume you have from us being apart. So now I say Goodbye Troy Bolton, it was nice knowing you while it lasted._

_Yours Truly,_

_Gabriella Montez_

Gabriella sat and read the letter, it didn't articulate everything, but what did it matter he wouldn't ever see it anyways. Gabriella red it one more time and realized that she had left out a part about their relationship that she felt should be in there. The fact that she was on the path to falling in love with Troy Bolton when he walked out of her life. She thought about it a minute and realized maybe she did that on purpose, maybe she wasn't ready to be completely over him, or even close, but at least now she was on her way. With one last re-read of her letter she began to write a poem, it described her heart perfectly and while she was writing a single tear fell. That was when she knew the journey of healing really was beginning.

_You walked away and I stood in the rain_

_I watched you walk and thought you would come back_

_I didn't blame you_

_But had faith you would turn around_

_You walked and walked and walked_

_Then I realized you weren't coming back_

_So I ran and ran and ran after you_

_I called to you_

_I reached for you_

_I screamed to you to come back_

_You kept walking and I kept chasing_

_Then I realized you weren't coming back_

_At least not now_

_I had to turn and walk the other way_

_I made one last effort to stop you_

_But you kept walking_

_So I turned and ran_

_I ran and ran and ran_

_Away from you_

_Away from the pain you caused_

_I slipped and fell_

_I cried_

_You were my rock_

_And now you were gone_

_You were my strength_

_And now I felt weak_

_I trusted you_

_And felt completely betrayed_

_So here I sit on the ground_

_Broken and filthy and looking towards heaven_

_God is sitting with me I know_

_But now I am waiting_

_Waiting for my prince in shinning armor_

_He will come I know_

_And right now I hope it is you_

_But I also know that if you wait to long_

_Someone else will find me_

_And love me_

_And pick me up from my fall_

_Because now I know I am worth it_

_And then you will be left in the rain_

_I hope upon hopes you are never where I am now_

_But if you are I hope someone is there to pick you up_

_In a way you could never know_

_Because you aren't there to pick me up_

Gabriella finished writing and read it and smiled a sad smile. She closed her journal and called Taylor. Tonight she was going to spend time with her friend, to prove to herself and to Troy she was on the road to healing. She needed that and she felt proud that she was finally sticking up for herself and doing it.


End file.
